You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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