just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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