Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
