all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
