i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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