then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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