big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your cock deserves a montage
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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