Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
