Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
