I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
