I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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