sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
