kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
