I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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