one might say we're banned from that church
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
