Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
