On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I looked at my own cervix.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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