He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I AM VODKA MAN
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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