the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
