are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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