I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
