First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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