We got so high we made milksteak
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
