I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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