ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
