and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
