A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
