my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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