Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
