all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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