Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
