Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
too bad you live with your parents still
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
