I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
