So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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