i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
