i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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