I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
home. puking in laundry basket.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
