At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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