I got chris browned last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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