ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We got so high we made milksteak
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
