some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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