How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
