I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
