Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
