They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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