I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
