And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
