You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
