Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
