lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
