If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
