Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
