I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
