they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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